Pre-Deployment Stress in Kids of America's Heroes

Oct 1, 2018
4 min read

Mom or Dad hasn’t even really left yet, but Kids of America’s Heroes are already feeling the stress of deployment. Emotions are heightened, stress is increased, and everyone is on edge. A big change is coming on the home front!

Pre-Deployment Stress in Kids of America's Heroes

Military connected children preparing for a parent to deploy are already deep into the cycle of deployment emotions and stressors.

Here’s what you should be looking for and how you can help.

Training Cycle Stressors

Pre-deployment training is like a sneak preview of deployment. The servicemember is constantly in and out of the home as they get ready for the real event.

This period looks different for every service, every unit, and every deployment. It’s different for troops in a Guard or Reserve unit than for Active Duty.

What doesn’t change in the constant change in the home environment. Pre-deployment is a turbulent period. Mom might be gone for weeks at a time training, then suddenly reappear for a few days. Only to head back to the field for another long stretch.

The whole family is learning, or re-learning, how to handle these intense and lengthy separations.

Family Relationship Stressors

During the whole pre-deployment period, adults are also experiencing additional strains. Marriages are tested.

It is not uncommon for parents to have arguments or disagreements more frequently during this period of transition. Kids are often witnessing or hearing these disagreements.

As Mom or Dad prepares to manage the family solo for months at a time, kids might also be asked to take on more adult-type tasks. Additional cleaning or home tasks, like taking out the trash or handling their own laundry, might be passed to children. Older siblings might be asked to provide support by watching younger children more often.

Fears About Safety

We live in a 24-hour news cycle that features many accidents and incidents. A fair few of the stories that dominate the headlines are often military-related.

Kids might overhead talk about the deployment or training. Without further information, they could imagine the worst happening. Fears about their parent’s safety or training might start to creep in.

There is a whole world of unknown out there, and Kids of America’s Heroes might be picturing the absolute worst things.

How Kids Might React

Every child and every deployment is different. How each child reacts and acts might look slightly different. However, there are a few essential ways that children react to deployments.

Emotional: children are more likely to react with anger, sadness, or other heightened emotions during pre-deployment; tantrums, yelling, crying, and other feelings-based behaviors are typical.
Anxiety: children might be struggling with fears about their parent’s safety, whether they will come home again, or about changes at home; this could trigger anxious feelings and feed into heightened emotional reactions.
Academic Changes: military connected children might experience academic setbacks before and during deployment; sudden grade changes or increased apathy about learning are indicators of these reactions.

Generally, Kids of America’s Heroes are dealing with many rapid changes, increased responsibility, and a lot of uncertainty. This is a recipe for big emotions and fears for our military kids.

How You Can Help Our Kids

While our military kids are handling a lot, having a trusted adult, like a parent or teacher, to guide them certainly helps.

Parents/Family Members

Follow your child’s lead and have conversations about the upcoming deployment. Share what you know about training or the deployment. Reassure your child that their parent will be prepared and safe.

At home, help your child shoulder their increased responsibility (if any) gradually. Pair those more mature tasks and chores with rewards that match. Help your child to learn any new chores with your support and guidance before you give them independence.

Talk to the other adults in your child’s life: pastors or religious mentos, Scout leaders, teachers, and coaches. Let them know about the deployment and what to look for. Ask that you keep the communication open and frequent so that you are all aware of any possible concerns.

Trusted Adults in the Community

Being there as a constant support is critical for the military connected children in your life. Be ready to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on before, during, and after deployment.

Keep an eye out for significant emotional, behavioral, or academic changes. These could be signs that a MilKid is struggling to cope. Let their parent(s) know as soon as possible.

Remember that children react and act differently in different places. So a child might be able to hold it together on the soccer field but fall apart at youth group. Keep a watchful eye and stay in touch with this military family.

Ready to help LOTS of military families? Join KOAH!

We provide essential supports and services aimed to help the Kids of America’s Heroes feel loved. By volunteering your time or donating to our cause, you will touch the lives of countless military connected children around the country!